Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it's like iHOP with fire
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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