and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
