and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
