it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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