Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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