I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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