a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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