yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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