After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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