Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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