is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
