i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
