Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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