she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think i have two assholes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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