carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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