i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
