i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
