"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
