OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
