Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
