The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
