eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
