I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
