Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
