I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
