so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
