Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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