I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
