At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We had to coat check the pizza.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
