I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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