I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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