I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
im calling her cock vulture from now on
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
