She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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