all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
