Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
