I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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