The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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