omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
