yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
