But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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