Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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