Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
