she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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