It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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