There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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