Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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