I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
sex in a hospital.. check
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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