I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
