all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
