Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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