Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
