She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
