So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need a beard to bite.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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