i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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