Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
