Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
