just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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